Being an adult is hard enough so having a support system is crucial. Adults are desperately seeking to “find their tribe” so they can feel a sense of belonging.
What exactly does “find your tribe” mean?
It means finding a group of like-hearted people. Usually people would think they want friends that are like-minded, which can be true, but they don’t have to think like you in order to have a friendship - sometimes the people who are your opposites make the best types of friends (like my best friend from high school).
If you’re looking to “find your tribe”, here are 10 suggestions…
1. Be comfortable with yourself first. No one is going to want to be your friend if you don’t even want to be your own friend. Practice self love daily. Stop with your negative self talk. Do you call yourself stupid when you make a silly mistake? Be mindful of those thoughts because our thoughts become our reality.
2. Find someone with similar interests and passions. So this goes back to finding like-minded and like-hearted people. For example, you love writing so you join a writing group. Maybe you only write nonfiction, while another person in the group only writes fiction. You aren’t exactly 100% “like-minded” (different genres), but you are “like-hearted” (you both love writing).
3. Join Facebook or LinkedIn groups. I don’t have Facebook so I started joining LinkedIn groups and I love them. I just typed the topics I’m interested in into the search bar and the work was done for me. I searched topics such as mental health, women empowerment, holistic health, wellness, and coaching.
My girlfriends have had GREAT success with Facebook groups. For example, two belong to groups for dog owners that have the same breed as them. My cousin belongs to a neighborhood, town, and school district group. She’s pregnant so she also belongs to a few mommy groups. These are just examples but Facebook groups are kinda like online dating - they have a group for every type of person.
4. Look at Craigslist groups. Okay, this can be superrrr sketchy, but I remember when I lived in the Bay Area I found 2 groups on Craigslist that I loved and met some really great local people.
5. Visit Meetup.com to find people in your area. I absolutely love the MeetUp groups in San Diego and if you live in a major city you’ll have A LOT of luck on MeetUp. They have everything from professional groups to just casual groups of people just trying to meet other people - also a lot of singles groups if that’s your thing.
6. Let your acquaintances know you want to know more about them, ask to hangout and then be available to hangout. Have you ever had a time where you wanted to make a new friend, but then when the opportunity presented itself you chickened out at the last moment and either didn’t make plans or didn’t keep your plans - well stop doing that. I know meeting new people can be scary - but you won’t know who’s worth your time unless you start by giving them some of your precious time.
7. Spend time with family in the meantime, especially siblings and cousins. First, I want to shout out to my cousin Sara who saved me in my childhood and teenage years (and now adulthood), I don’t know what I would have done without her. Strengthen your bond with your family members while you’re still building your tribe. Remember, they were your day 1 people.
8. Join a sports team. In the MeetUp app there’s a lot of sports teams to join. I also found a lot of teams on Craigslist. Some of the teams you had to pay a membership fee, and others were free (and usually less competitive).
9. Join a group at a church. If you’re not religious, I don’t really suggest doing this because there’s a very good chance the group will be faith based.
10. Check up on your old friends and start to rekindle the friendship. Just like your family, your “old” friends have supported you long before you met your new ones and sometimes we forget how much we miss and value a friendship. Send a text, email or even pick up the phone and call - let your old friend know you were thinking of them.
Like I mentioned before, finding new friends is somewhat like dating. Not everyone will be your soulmate, but stay open minded and be open to meeting new people with different backgrounds and experiences.
These are only a few ways to make friends, can you think of more? Where did you meet the friends you have now?